Cornerstone Festival "Dating & Sexuality" Seminar Notes

by Wendi

Spiritual Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

  1. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

  2. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

  3. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in… It's a habit. My eyes are open and I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

  4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

  5. I walk down another street!!!

Life's Three Big Questions !!!!

  1. Who will you serve?

  2. What will be your life's work?

  3. If you decide to marry, who will you
    marry?

Remember, how you answer these questions will determine what kind of life you will live.

The Six "Loves"

  1. Strong Personal Preference (I just love deep dish
    pizza!)

  2. Sexual Lust (pornography, recreational sex,
    cruising, etc.)

  3. Sensual Attraction ("I saw her across the room & I
    just knew!")

  4. Friendship

  5. Family

  6. Agape or Self-sacrificing

Real Love Includes :
Physical Attraction
Respect and Admiration
Friendship and Fellowship
Loyalty
Self-giving Devotion

USA Marriage/Divorce Info

From 1960-1990 USA divorces increased by more than 205%.

Caucasian American children born in the early 1980s will have only a 30% chance of living to age 17 with both biological parents in the home.

African American children born in the early 1980s will have only a 6% chance of living to age 17 with both biological parents in the home.

You have less than a 1 in 3 chance of having a successful marriage.

Here are a few of my tips for wise romance:

I will not go out with unbelievers.

I will not go out with flaky Christians.

I will make a serious commitment to save sex for marriage and I will discuss this decision with a trustworthy friend or family member for accountability purposes.

I will decide on my limits for expressing affection and be ready to share my decisions with my friends.

I will plan an activity to prevent temptations when I go out with my special friend.

I will invite others over to my house for dinner, video watching, etc., so I don't entertain a man (or if you are a man, a lady) alone. If I want to be with just him (or her) I will pick a public forum such as a restaurant, theater, or Public Park.

My bedroom is off limits!

I will make wise choices concerning movies and television programs that we watch together, avoiding sexually explicit movies and programs.
Cars are for driving, not "parking". If I need to have a long private talk, coffee shops or telephones are wiser choices.

In closing, I believe that what I have shared with you pertains to every single Christian regardless of position, race, culture or age. God has a plan for your life and can bring the right person at the right time to you. In the meantime, don't play games!

Love, Sex or Infatuation?
15 clues to tell the difference

  1. What is the major attraction?
  2. How many factors attract, are shared interest and are unattractive about the person?
  3. How did the relationship start?
  4. Is the relationship practical and appropriate for this time in your life?
  5. How consistent is your level of interest?
  6. How does your relationship affect your personality?
  7. How do you see each other?
  8. How do others view your relationship?
  9. What does distance do to your relationship?
  10. How do quarrels affect the relationship?
  11. How do you feel about and refer to your relationship with your special friend?
  12. Are you selfish or selfless?
  13. What is your overall attitude?
  14. Are you jealous?
  15. How and when does the relationship end?

13 Known Facts about Premarital Sex

  1. 1 million annual pregnancies in single teens and young adults in USA.
  2. Rising STD infection rates
  3. More likely to break-up before you marry
  4. Scare off anyone who wants to marry a virgin
  5. Be less happy in your marriage
  6. More likely to divorce
  7. More likely to commit adultery after you marry
  8. Be fooled into marrying for the wrong reasons
  9. Achieve married sexual happiness quicker but
  10. Be less satisfied with your married sex life
  11. Spoil total sex due to poor premarital sexual conditioning
  12. Have guilt feelings that nudge you into a poor marriage
  13. Be deprived of that all-important sexual bonding factor right when you need it the most.

Natural Progression of Sexual Activity And Drawing The Line

N     Holding Hands
E
C      Hugging
K
I
N       Closed Mouth Kissing
G              THE LINE
________________________________________________
L P
I E    French Kissing
G T    Kissing Neck, Ears, Etc.
H T    Fondling Breast Clothed
T I    Fondling Breast Bared
N
G
________________________________________________
H P   Genitals Clothed
E E   Genitals Bared
A T    "Outercourse" (Mutual Masturbation to Orgasm)
V T    Oral Sex
Y I    Genital to Genital Activity
N
G   Sexual Intercourse______________________

STD Facts Today

20 - 25 significant kinds of STD
12 million people in USA newly infected annually
1 in 5 Americans between ages 15 - 55 now infected
63% of all STD infections occur in people under age 25
3 major viral STD can be deadly; HIV, Hepatitis C and HPV

Annual In-Use Contraceptive Failure Rate Among Young Women

The Pill ………………… 11%
Condoms ………………. 18%
Creams, Jellies & Foams ………………. up to 34%
Diaphragm …………… 30%

Nearly 1 million annual pregnancies in girls, ages 10-19 in USA
Over 400,000 abortions in teens annually in USA

Contraceptive Failure Rates Estimated over School Years

14 yr. Old girl faithfully using the pill has up to a 44% chance of pregnancy before she finishes high school.

She has a 30% chance of multiple pregnancies.

Using condoms alone, she has a nearly 87% of pregnancy during her school years.

Here are just a few books on love, sexuality and relationships. Check 'em out!

  • Life on the Edge by Dr. James Dobson
  • No Apologies… the Truth about Life, Love and Sex
    A Focus on the Family video series
  • I kissed Dating Good-bye by Josh Harris
  • Pure Excitement, Worth the Wait by Joe White
  • As You Leave Home by Jerry Jenkins
  • Sexuality: God's Gift by Ann Cannon
  • Sex, Love or Infatuation by Dr. Ray E. Short
  • Choosing God's Best by Dr. Don Raunikar
  • Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot
  • I Loved a Girl by Walter Trobish
  • Love, Dad by Josh McDowell
  • Why Wait? By Josh McDowell
  • Search for Significance, Youth Edition by Dawson McAllister and Robert McGee
  • The Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh

Biblical References on Sexual and Relationship Issues:
There are many more scriptures dealing with sexuality, purity and relationships. These are only a few to get you started!!!

Immorality:
Matt. 5:27
Matt. 15:19
Mark 7:21
Acts 15:20,29
Acts 21:25
Rom. 13:13
1 Cor. 5:1, 9-11
1 Cor. 6:9-18
Gal. 5:19
Ephes. 5:3,5
Col. 3:5
1 Thes. 4:3
Heb. 12:6
Heb. 13:4
James 1:21
Jude 1:7
Rev. 2:14,20,21
Rev. 21:8
Rev. 22:15

Lust:
Prov. 2:16-18
Prov. 5:3-13
Prov. 6:24
Prov. 7:6-27
Prov. 9:13-18
Psalms 4:4
Matt. 5:28
Mark 4:19
Mark 7:21-23
Rom. 1:22-29
1 Cor. 9:27
2 Cor. 12:21
Gal. 5:19-21
Ephes. 4:17-22
1 Tim. 6:9
James 1:14
1 John 2:16
Psalms 26:2

Purity:
Isaiah 1:18
Matt. 5:8
Gal. 5:16
Philip 4:8
1 Tim. 5:22
2 Tim. 2:21
James 4:8
1 Pet. 1:22
1 John 3:3
Titus 2:12
1 Peter 2:11
Gal. 5:16

Self-Examination:
Job 12:23
Psalms 19:12
Rev. 9:21
Psalms 119:59
Psalms 119:9-11
Psalms 139:23-24
Jer. 17:9
Lam. 3:40
Haggai 1:7
2 Cor. 13:5
2 Cor. 12:21
Gal. 6:3

-08/11/01