What About Masturbation

by Wendi

Hello Wendi!

I have read some of your articles in Cornerstone. They made me think about many different issues in my life. But now I want to ask you something specific. It�s about masturbation (onanism). Is it a sin or not? I�m twenty-one, I haven�t had sexual relationships with anyone, and it is getting harder to live without sexual satisfaction. I tried to find answers about masturbation in the Bible, but I couldn�t find any. What you think about masturbation?

-Philip

Dear Philip,

You used the word �onanism� as a descriptive synonym for masturbation. Biblically, �onanism� is not synonymous with masturbation, as Onan did not practice self-stimulation, but instead practiced coitus interruptus (he withdrew immediately before orgasm to prevent pregnancy). You can read about Onan in Genesis 38:8-10. According to the guidelines of those days, Onan was to marry and have intercourse with Tamar, the wife of his deceased older brother, Er. This was to provide Er with a child to receive Er�s inheritance as Judah�s firstborn son and to provide economic security for Tamar. (Deut. 25:5,6 sets guidelines for providing widows with �social security.�) Certainly unbiblical sexual desires and actions were a serious problem in Onan�s life, as he was willing to enjoy sex with Tamar without taking spiritual or legal responsibility. Onan�s primary motive for disobedience, which resulted in his death at God�s hand, was greed. He did not want a son to result from his intercourse with Tamar, as this child would inherit Er�s share of the family wealth, thus reducing Onan�s children�s inheritance.

Onan is a topic unto himself, but let�s move on to the rest of your letter. If you are looking for an intimate soul-satisfying relationship, masturbation is without intimacy and a poor substitute for relationship. If you are looking for a biblical answer, you have to see what is and is not addressed. Lusting after someone whom you are not legally married to is biblically called adultery or fornication and is sin. Pornography would definitely come under the heading of youthful lust to flee, and/or spiritual uncleanness. If masturbation is only a way to release physiological sexual tension, then I do not see a clear prohibition in the Bible as long as it is not associated with fornication, adultery, pornography, or perversion.

Now this is where things get complicated, and only you can answer to your conscience. The letter of the law says do not act out sexually with another person outside of marriage, and put away all moral filth (which, again, would include pornography). Yet Jesus took this commandment to its fullest extent and addressed the deeper spiritual weaknesses of the human heart: �You have heard that it was said, �Do not commit adultery.� But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart� (Matt. 5:27-28 niv). The previous verse obviously goes for both genders.

What does Jesus mean by teaching this? I believe that He means we cannot play mental gymnastics with God�s commandments and claim righteousness. It is unrighteous to indulge in mental adultery, fornication, pornography, homosexuality. Do any of these things enter your mind while masturbating?

From a purely psychological point of view, it is also worth considering the potentially negative effects of prior conditioned sexual responses in a future marriage relationship. V. Mary Stewart addresses this in Sexual Freedom (IVP): �Sexual arousal can attach itself to whatever stimulus it has been associated with in the past and, if continually paired with that stimulus, it will ultimately require that restricted stimulus pattern in order to be evoked at all. This is the way that the more peculiar sexual anomalies get built up. Most people enhance and catalyze masturbation with specific favorite fantasies whose content gradually comes to be closely associated with orgasm.� Don�t think that being married will remove the temptation to masturbate. If this is what you do in response to emotional ups and downs while single, you will likely do just the same thing when you�re married. But your marriage partner will feel rejected, even cheated on, when she discovers she�s got competition.

Which brings up another point to consider: what are the root causes of your sexual tensions and the lack of resolution of these tensions in your life presently? How are God�s purposes being accomplished in you through these circumstances?

God may be using sexual tensions to accomplish His purposes in your life, and wants you to explore His purposes. Do I believe you are sinning when and if you masturbate? Only you can answer that question after exploring God�s purposes for the sexual tensions in your life. Ignoring the issue, as you know, will not quiet the sexual urgencies you are experiencing as a normal young person. God created sexual desires in us, and having these desires, even urgently, is very normal! Of course, if you are entertaining yourself with sexually explicit novels, movies, and music, you will find your mind far more on sexual matters (inflaming your desire) than it would be if you carefully controlled what you watched and listened to.

We should not be ashamed of our bodies, how our bodies work, or be alienated from ourselves sexually. In fact, I highly recommend you read Ephesians 4:1 through Ephesians 5:33 for the purpose of reclaiming your body from any bondages. We have been given freedom; do not let yourself be in bondage to your body, or on the other hand, ignore your body. After all, we are God�s masterpiece! I am talking balance here, and as my wonderful husband so honestly observes, �I find that I am often in the most balanced place as I am swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another extreme.�

When is masturbation appropriate? Your motives for masturbating would need to be fairly straightforward. Your thinking should include all the facts, such as being a sexual person created by God. This is good. God purposes sexual activity for physical, spiritual, and emotional communion lovingly enjoyed between life mates. Masturbation is not a union or communion between life mates. Masturbation is an expression of a bodily hunger for sexual release. As a Christian and as a sexual being, still under the effects of the fall but redeemed by God�s amazing grace, you want to honor God with your body, soul, and mind (1 Cor. 6:20). Are you glorifying God with the act of masturbation?

So answer some questions for yourself: Are you trying to escape from responsibility or avoid God�s dealings in some area of your life? Are you depressed, bored, anxious, or procrastinating over something to the point of wanting a quick fix to your malaise? Are you just experiencing normal male physiological sexual tensions (and for female C-stone readers, female physiological sexual tension)? Are you finding yourself regularly masturbating to make it through your day? Then as a Christian you need to ask yourself, �In what am I not trusting God? Where is my security and comfort?� As James writes, God tempts no one. Instead, �one is tempted by one�s own desire, being lured and enticed by it; then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin� (James 1:14,15a nrsv). A temptation, by definition, is being lured by something we want but know we should not have, at least at that time. What more basic desire is there than our sexual desire, except perhaps for food? You could be using masturbation as an �opiate� to placate your emotions instead of learning the very difficult life lessons of trusting God in all circumstances. Don�t let masturbation become an escape mechanism from the discipline of finding contentment in your circumstances.

If you fall into masturbation, watch out for the final and perhaps most destructive element of all, namely, condemnation. God is not the author of condemnation, but of conviction. To be convicted of sin means we�re motivated to change. We know we�ve done wrong and, with God�s forgiving grace, move to make amends, change our patterns of thought and behavior. But condemnation focuses us on our helplessness, our failure, and our sin, with the result that we obsess about it. This starts a spiral of failure, obsessing about failure, failure. Forget it! God understands our weakness, and will lift us quickly up when we fail.

That�s the tough call you have to make, but (as Paul wrote) you have to work out your salvation and what it means in each area of your life, including sexually, with reverence, honesty, and in humility, recognizing God�s purposes for you! �All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything� (1 Cor. 6:12 nasv). Life is an adventure and God wants us to experience life to its fullest.

Please feel free to write back, and I pray that my words will give you some clarity and food for thought.

-08/11/01

This article first appeared in Cornerstone Magazine, Issue No. 119.